Relational & Developmental Trauma

Each day feels dreadful.

In the dim, solitary light, you sit on the edge of your bed. Your body hunches over with your arms wrapped tightly around you as if trying to hold yourself together. The silence of the room is broken only by the distant hum of city life outside.

Sounds that usually go unnoticed now seem to amplify your inner turmoil. The space around you feels like a cage, a stark contrast to the sense of safety and warmth a home should provide. The space you retreat to is where the echoes of your past continue to haunt you.

Your suffering is a profound, invisible wound that colors every aspect of your life. Each morning, you wake with dread, fear, and helplessness. Your dreams are vivid and terrifying, often plaguing your sleep and clinging to you like a second skin.

The weight of loneliness presses down on you as you drag yourself out of bed. The mornings are challenging; the lack of routine and care in your early years has left you with an aversion to the start of each day.

Traumatic experiences became etched into your psyche.

Your negative experiences growing up – chronic neglect, emotional abuse, and instability – have left deep, indelible scars. You experienced many unpredictable and chaotic events during childhood and did not receive emotional safety and support. As a result, you move through life with a pervasive sense of unease and constantly brace yourself for the next disaster. You are exhausted by your hypervigilance; your body and mind are always on high alert and scanning for threats that may or may not exist.

Social interactions are particularly challenging. Because of repeated experiences of people as unreliable and harmful, you can’t let yourself trust others. You keep most relationships at arm’s length, afraid to let anyone get too close. When you do attempt to connect, you feel intense anxiety and self-doubt. Then your relentless inner critic appears, telling you you’re not good enough or unworthy of love and affection. This fear of rejection and abandonment leads to a cycle of loneliness and isolation, even when in a crowd.

Work is both a refuge and a source of immense stress. You can temporarily escape the inner turmoil due to the structure and routine on good days. In contrast, on bad days, however, the demands and expectations trigger deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and fear of failure.

When battling feelings of shame and guilt, you blame yourself. “I’m so weak. If only I had been stronger,” you often think, “If only I had seen the signs.” Your self-worth is in tatters, with negative and relentless thoughts gnawing at you and eroding your confidence.

Your physical health reflects your emotional turmoil.

Chronic stress and anxiety manifest as a myriad of physical symptoms – persistent headaches, stomach issues, muscle tension, and a general sense of fatigue that no amount of rest seems to alleviate. You often neglect your basic needs, skip meals or subsist on junk food, and are too overwhelmed to care for yourself properly. Your body aches, a constant reminder of the stress you carry.

Emotional regulation and your sense of self-worth are also problematic. Your emotions are often intense and unpredictable, swinging from deep despair to numbing apathy, and you have difficulty managing these feelings, resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms to dull the pain. These behaviors offer temporary relief but ultimately lead to more guilt and self-loathing, perpetuating a vicious cycle of self-destruction.

When battling feelings of shame and guilt, you blame yourself. “I’m so weak. If only I had been stronger,”you often think, “If only I had seen the signs.” Your self-worth is in tatters, with negative and relentless thoughts gnawing at you and eroding your confidence.

Seeking help is challenging but worth it.

Therapy sessions, while offering some relief, also force you to confront your deepest fears and pain. You struggle to open up, given your distrust and fear of vulnerability. When you do manage to share your experiences, the pain is raw and overwhelming as you recount difficult and lonely moments.

Despite the immense challenges, you cling to a glimmer of hope. Therapy offers a lifeline, a chance to slowly unravel the knots of your past and begin to heal. It’s a painful journey, fraught with setbacks and moments of profound despair, but it’s also a path toward understanding and, eventually, self-compassion.

You learn to identify and challenge the negative beliefs ingrained in you, to recognize the strength it took to survive your experiences, and to start building a sense of self-worth independent of your past.

I offer compassionate curiosity, unwavering focus, authenticity, and honesty in an atmosphere designed to evoke a sense of safety, tranquility, and warmth. As I sit across from you, I am aware that you may simultaneously feel hopeful yet hesitant, and I see the vulnerability in your eyes as a testament to both your pain and your desire for healing.

My goal is to meet your needs.

Rather than immediately applying a psychotherapy technique, I will first consider your difficulties and preferences to adapt my contemporary psychoanalytic approach to your unique needs thoughtfully. Furthermore, I integrate therapy skills aimed at helping you identify and challenge negative thought patterns, learn relaxation techniques, and gradually confront feared situations.

I invite you to speak freely and without censorship to go beyond recounting past events in hopes of finding emotional truths and unconscious patterns that shape your current life. When you talk openly and trust that even seemingly unrelated thoughts and memories have a connection to your deeper psyche, you start to see that they are not just a random occurrence but rather a meaningful reflection of your internal state.

While describing your painful memories, you will also explore the depths of your unconscious mind and connect the dots between past experiences and your current struggles. As we identify these patterns, you’ll also see and understand how the defense mechanisms you developed to survive in childhood influence your adult behavior.

In addition to focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and memories, I will pay close attention to the therapeutic relationship and encourage you to share your experiences because I think of it as a microcosm of your broader relational patterns. Carefully listening to what you have to say is particularly important and therapeutic for practicing new ways of relating in a safe environment and gradually building trust and emotional resilience. Over time, it is a vital way of learning to express your needs and boundaries more clearly, both within the therapy sessions and in your life outside.

Through therapy, relief is possible.

While the work can sometimes feel slow and painful, there is no other way to confront and overcome the buried emotions and memories of one’s trauma.

Nevertheless, I also offer Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and mindfulness techniques to help lessen the effects of this pain. For example, we will address self-care, social support and connection with others, healthy coping skills, reframing, safety switches, and mindfulness practices.

As the hard work unfolds, you will begin making significant strides. When you begin to reframe your understanding of your past, you’ll start to see your trauma not as a reflection of your worth but as a series of experiences that shaped you in profound ways.

You’ll feel more confident and grounded as you recognize your triggers and develop healthier coping mechanisms. As you start forming more fulfilling relationships grounded in mutual respect and understanding, you will feel more engaged with others. Then, the nightmares become less frequent, and you’ll be able to sleep more peacefully.

Let’s take this healing journey together.

Psychoanalytic psychotherapy for trauma is a journey of deep introspection and healing and a process that requires patience, courage, and trust.

It’s a path toward reclaiming one’s life from the shadows of one’s past, gradually piecing together a narrative that honors one’s resilience and opens the door to a future defined not by trauma but by strength and potential for growth.

Contact me today, and let’s work together to help you overcome past trauma.